Thursday, November 30, 2006
It's the dimples
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
If he's doing this, what's that guy Boner up to?
Flipping through channels tonight, I landed on TBN (The Bible Network). I wouldn't have stayed, but the guy who was talking had an AUSTRALIAN ACCENT (I can't resist that accent). I know what you're thinking: Christian AND Australian? But he was! He talked for a little while, and then the camera zoomed out and he was sitting right next to Kirk Cameron. It turns out that they have this show called "The Way of the Master," a kind of "Triumph of the Will"-meets-Ron-Popeil kind of show about fundamentalist Christianity.
Here's an example of their STUNNING show on atheism:
I guess it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that Cameron is so actively evangelical, what with his starring role on the "In the Behind" series (or whatever it's called). But I thought his faith was just a little quirk of his that he brought up every now and then, while still being a really cool individual - you know, kind of like Mel Gibson.
So Cameron talked for a while about evangelism, and how he was trying to start a revolution to make evangelism more in the way Jesus did. And then they went on to present this vox-pop style B-roll of the Australian "witnessing" to a girl who looked like she was out for a night hitting the bars with her boyfriend. This evil Australian asked her if she had ever stolen - she said she stole a lipstick from her mom once. Then he asked her if she had hated someone - yes, she had. Had she lusted for someone? "Yes." Then he said that she was a sinner, and asked if she thought she was going to heaven. "Yes, because I asked God for forgiveness for all of my sins." Then the Australian went too far - he called her self-righteous for even thinking she could be forgiven for being a dirty, dirty sinner, and she could only get to heaven if she repented completely and suffered for her sins. The poor girl starts crying and he doesn't let up, until she agreed to take a pamphlet, which is probably papering the floor at some Bourbon Street establishment as we speak.
Seriously, Kirk Cameron should remember that even Leonardo DiCaprio got his start on Growing Pains. He doesn't have to stoop to this level. And Australians should stick to chasing crocodiles.
Here's an example of their STUNNING show on atheism:
I guess it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that Cameron is so actively evangelical, what with his starring role on the "In the Behind" series (or whatever it's called). But I thought his faith was just a little quirk of his that he brought up every now and then, while still being a really cool individual - you know, kind of like Mel Gibson.
So Cameron talked for a while about evangelism, and how he was trying to start a revolution to make evangelism more in the way Jesus did. And then they went on to present this vox-pop style B-roll of the Australian "witnessing" to a girl who looked like she was out for a night hitting the bars with her boyfriend. This evil Australian asked her if she had ever stolen - she said she stole a lipstick from her mom once. Then he asked her if she had hated someone - yes, she had. Had she lusted for someone? "Yes." Then he said that she was a sinner, and asked if she thought she was going to heaven. "Yes, because I asked God for forgiveness for all of my sins." Then the Australian went too far - he called her self-righteous for even thinking she could be forgiven for being a dirty, dirty sinner, and she could only get to heaven if she repented completely and suffered for her sins. The poor girl starts crying and he doesn't let up, until she agreed to take a pamphlet, which is probably papering the floor at some Bourbon Street establishment as we speak.
Seriously, Kirk Cameron should remember that even Leonardo DiCaprio got his start on Growing Pains. He doesn't have to stoop to this level. And Australians should stick to chasing crocodiles.
Monday, November 27, 2006
My favorite photo
People have been asking me to give them photos from LA. But while Amy and my Dad both had cameras, I haven't taken the pictures from them yet, so I've been settling for photos from the Moviefone camera that was at the theater.
Here's a photo of me and my new agent (that's him on the right with the faux cigar):
Okay, he's not really my agent. But he's a great documentarian. His name is J.B. Rutagarama and his film is "Back Home". Here, check out his website.
I'll have more photos someday.
Here's a photo of me and my new agent (that's him on the right with the faux cigar):
Okay, he's not really my agent. But he's a great documentarian. His name is J.B. Rutagarama and his film is "Back Home". Here, check out his website.
I'll have more photos someday.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
My New Receptionist
I'm hiring a receptionist. Here is her picture:
She will be taking all calls for me over the Thanksgiving holiday. I'm not paying her for nothing, so if you have something you need from me call me between now and the holiday so that I can
make her worth my money. You won't actually get to talk to me but at least she won't be busy wasting my pencil lead doing her stupid sudoku puzzles.
She will be taking all calls for me over the Thanksgiving holiday. I'm not paying her for nothing, so if you have something you need from me call me between now and the holiday so that I canmake her worth my money. You won't actually get to talk to me but at least she won't be busy wasting my pencil lead doing her stupid sudoku puzzles.
My Thanksgiving
Usually at this time of year I go through a pretty intense training regimen in preparation for Thanksgiving. I will starve myself for a few days, then eat a whole pound of rice to expand my stomach. The day of Thanksgiving I will eat a bowl of oatmeal to keep my stomach working and then go for an intense run to build up my metabolism. Then, in only one of two annual instances of violating my vegetarianism, I will eat turkey (the only other annual violation is the steak I allow myself, though after seeing Fast Food Nation I may not do that again). I will eat a LOT of turkey. A LOT. Last Thanksgiving, I think Amy's mom was confused because there were no leftovers.
But this year we are changing it up a bit. I will still gorge, but instead of traditional American staples we will be joining Amy's Aunt in Falls Church to gorge on Chinese food and watch "Long Way Round" the multi-DVD series of Ewan McGregor's motorcycle trip around the globe. It should be really fun. I like Amy's Aunt, and my family has a tradition of being anti-fundamentalist about this holiday. One Thanksgiving they sent me on a camping trip with a family friend who was in the Canadian version of boy scouts. I think we ate beans.
Amy and I were talking about holidays and it seems like the altruistic sentiments of nearly every holiday have perverted into a celebration of one or more of the 7 Deadly Sins, a practice in rituals of excess. All of them celebrate rampant consumerism (which should be an 8th sin), but look at each of them more specifically:
Valentine's Day = Lust
Thanksgiving = Gluttony
Christmas = both Greed and Envy
Labor Day = Sloth
Fourth of July = Pride
I can't think of a holiday that inspires Wrath. Maybe we should invent one - it seems a shame to leave the list incomplete. We could call it Wrath Day. It would be the opposite of Valentine's Day and we could all celebrate by calling up someone we hated and telling them what we hate about them. Hallmark could sell "Wrath Day" cards, and little kids could give special Powerpuff Girl and Spongebob themed Wrath Day cards to their classmates and their annoying teachers. Bitter divorcees could hire people in little demon costumes to perform singing "hate-grams" for their ex-es. And it would all culminate at the stroke of midnight when each person will be allowed to pick one person they hate and render them completely infertile. I think such a holiday could be very cathartic, not to mention that it would contribute to population control.
But this year we are changing it up a bit. I will still gorge, but instead of traditional American staples we will be joining Amy's Aunt in Falls Church to gorge on Chinese food and watch "Long Way Round" the multi-DVD series of Ewan McGregor's motorcycle trip around the globe. It should be really fun. I like Amy's Aunt, and my family has a tradition of being anti-fundamentalist about this holiday. One Thanksgiving they sent me on a camping trip with a family friend who was in the Canadian version of boy scouts. I think we ate beans.
Amy and I were talking about holidays and it seems like the altruistic sentiments of nearly every holiday have perverted into a celebration of one or more of the 7 Deadly Sins, a practice in rituals of excess. All of them celebrate rampant consumerism (which should be an 8th sin), but look at each of them more specifically:
Valentine's Day = Lust
Thanksgiving = Gluttony
Christmas = both Greed and Envy
Labor Day = Sloth
Fourth of July = Pride
I can't think of a holiday that inspires Wrath. Maybe we should invent one - it seems a shame to leave the list incomplete. We could call it Wrath Day. It would be the opposite of Valentine's Day and we could all celebrate by calling up someone we hated and telling them what we hate about them. Hallmark could sell "Wrath Day" cards, and little kids could give special Powerpuff Girl and Spongebob themed Wrath Day cards to their classmates and their annoying teachers. Bitter divorcees could hire people in little demon costumes to perform singing "hate-grams" for their ex-es. And it would all culminate at the stroke of midnight when each person will be allowed to pick one person they hate and render them completely infertile. I think such a holiday could be very cathartic, not to mention that it would contribute to population control.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Sloppy Photoshop
Do you notice any difference between the following two pictures?:
According to this ad from Rusk Sheer Brilliance in Glamour magazine you can change the arch of your eyebrow, the width of your eyes (.1 "), your skin tone (albino to subtle rouge), the length of your neck (.15"), the width of your jawbone(.5"), and the width of your nose (.10") by simply using their hair cream. All this and gorgeous, radiant, Aryan locks. Thanks to Amy for noticing this amazing product.
According to this ad from Rusk Sheer Brilliance in Glamour magazine you can change the arch of your eyebrow, the width of your eyes (.1 "), your skin tone (albino to subtle rouge), the length of your neck (.15"), the width of your jawbone(.5"), and the width of your nose (.10") by simply using their hair cream. All this and gorgeous, radiant, Aryan locks. Thanks to Amy for noticing this amazing product.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
MY NEW MOVIE
I was out in LA for a week so please excuse me for the delay in updating. I guess that the most important thing I learned being out in LA is that it is pretty difficult to get your movie distributed, even if it wasn't too difficult to make. There are a ton of movies out there, from the bizarre to the even more bizarre, and in order to get yours seen you have to be willing to go to extremes. Here is my strategy:
