I got this weird Spam email - I usually just delete them without even looking but for some reason I looked at this. It had a weird attachment which i didn't look at, but I've included the text below. What does it mean? And why am I being solicited for it? It reads like one of the obscure Dada poems of Erik Satie:

"metallic
I'll see you guys in April. All work and no tasty basted dead animals,
you know how it is. The established rules of grammar are sadly silent
on matters concerning noises to be derived from 'euil' letter
combinations. But they'd take away my weekend warrior card if I walked
out of the gym without some sort of ache, pull, limp, or a hitch in my
giddyup.
I'd better stay home to be safe.
If there's a new prescription drug on the market, run all sorts of
articles about the miracles of that particular drug. There were two
fat-fingered lumps of limb down there, and I had no control over them.
Or what if they do, but you need more of a break? Still, not being
able to recognize people at a glance poses quite a challenge. If I
order all the random Christmas crap I need to give out by the weekend,
it'll be here in plenty of time for the big day.
I'm not looking forward to that.
Meanwhile, the only exercise I got for two full weeks was cramming
food into my gob with one hand, and waving with the other for the
waiter to bring me more.
With nothing to hold onto for balance, I had to make tiny and constant
adjustments at the hips, knees, and shoulders. I'll see you guys in
April. It's a blatant case of corporate ethics gone bad in the
popular. We had a big meeting this morning. I tried very hard not to
think about ground pepper or direct sunlight for the duration of the
procedure.
I don't see what all the fuss was about, frankly. I can still visually
confirm how things are progressing when I'm peeing, if need be.
You learn something new every day.
Well, I've heard it pronounced both ways."